Just in case you missed it, I turned 30 two months ago. No need for late birthday wishes. You forgot and that makes you all the worst friends possible.
Thirty years is a long time to be alive and I am ever so more grateful that I made it this far fairly unscratched. There’s been a few ups and downs during my lifetime, most of them caused by my own stupidity, some of them by failing kitchen appliances.
The down periods haven’t been easy, and I can’t say they get easier once you get older. I found out though that growing older, certain problems solve themselves. But then other, different issues appear. For sure throughout the years I have solved the problem “which shoes do I wear with this skirt” by simply owning just three pairs of shoes. The stuff I used to worry about in my teenage years seem so odd to me, thinking about them now.
In case you are about to make the same mistakes I made, please don’t. Because I think it is everyone’s duty to be the best person you possibly can be. To yourself first and then to everyone around you. The world is overwhelming sometimes with everybody so different and yet sharing the same emotions and heartaches. It would be good to have some more understanding.
Self-reflection is important for that process. So is talking about your problems.
I have learned so many lessons by diving head first into the world, thirty years ago. It would be terrible manners not to share them with you. Here’s 30, one for every year that I have been on Earth.
- If you eat a whole bag of candy it usually results in stomach ache. If you have a stomach ache you’re usually not very nice to the people around you.
- When walking in Europe, you pass people on your right side. In New Zealand you pass on the left side
- When I cut my own hair, it gives people panic attacks. When I try to calm them down by saying that it’s just hair and that hair grows back, it seems to freak them out even more.
- A sheep has a tail, very long too
- When you’re nearing thirty, people give you more responsibilities and for some reason people turn to you when unsure what to do. Yes, power, it’s highly addictive.
- Wearing deodorant plus perfume plus body lotion plus fabric softened clothing makes you smell like confusion.
- I am a person who likes to be outside. People always wonder how I can work in the rain and cold. I usually wonder how people can work inside when it’s sunny and warm outside.
- If you buy a cheap tent, wind will make it collapse on top of you.
- When I get drunk, I become very funny but afterwards I will be an emotional wreck for three days. So, I hardly drink nowadays.
- Creating things is food for the soul. Therefore, I write, bake, sing, grow plants and have crafternoons.
- Slapping somebody in the face is not funny, it will make the person very angry.
- If you try to burn paper in a scented candle, it can set your house on fire.
- Being able to speak a foreign language is worth more than owning a billion-dollar house.
- Men are extremely emotional but they’re very good at hiding it. If you meet a seemingly un-emotional man and you want to know how he feels, just kick him very hard in the crotch.
- Women are extremely emotional too but sometimes we express it in the wrong way. If you meet a woman who is bonkers and you want to know what’s going on, just ask her if she’s on her period.
- If you don’t know what to say when with people, just stare at them and be comfortable doing it. Leave the phone in the pocket.
- There exist not only men who are women or women who are men, there exist people who are neither or are both.
- A pixie haircut makes me feel like a Rockstar in Europe and North America. It also makes me feel like a Korean boy when in Asia.
- That people who are pricks can be explained by their unhappy life. It’s not your responsibility to try to make their life any better though. But you can if you want to.
- Flowers make me smile, so do painted toenails and seeing older people disco dancing.
- When you have the right job and work with the right people, you’ll be radiating happiness.
- Cattle comes in a mob, crocodiles in a bask, chickens in a clutch, wolves in a pack, sheep in a flock, mackerel in a shoal and elephants in a parade.
- Peanut butter and chocolate combined, so good.
- There is only one good time to watch movies and that is when you’re on an international flight.
- On the rare occasions I drink a coffee, I can’t sleep at night.
- If you wear bright colours during spring, you will attract either bees or single men. I personally prefer bees.
- Butter gives you cardiovascular disease and margarine gives you cancer. I am currently sticking to butter.
- The most dangerous thing about hitchhiking is taking a ride with a someone who drives 100km per hour on a country road and persists on looking you straight in the eye when you say something.
- I smell bad, especially after a full day of work. Since I found out that perfume attracts bears I don’t use any anymore. You never know if there’s a bear lurking somewhere. I only recently got attacked by one in Korea.
I now solve my smelly problem by standing further away from people at the end of the day.
- It’s really harsh the way we treat animals when we use them as a food source, but I also found out I am no good being a vegetarian. I hope to find a better way to satisfy my need for meat and we’ll treat animals kindlier in the future. But I don’t know how because it seems that large scale organic farming creates inhumane conditions for animals as well.
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